INTERVIEW GERMANY — CHRISTEENE VALE BY RICK OWENS — SPRING 2020

SPRING 2020

SHE IS A PERFORMANCE ARTIST, SHE MAKES MUSIC, AND SHE SLAPS PEOPLE IN THE FACE. SHE CLAIMS SHE HAS A HEART OF GOLD.

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HER GOOD FRIEND RICK OWENS THINKS CHRISTEENE IS THE COLLECTIVE ID. WE SAY: CURTAIN UP ON THE WORLD'S MOST DANGEROUS DRAG TERRORIST!

RICK OWENS WAS SO ENGROSSED IN HIS WORK THAT HE DIDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING SO MUNDANE AS THE TIME DIFFERENCE WHEN HE SUGGESTED THE INTERVIEW DATE. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT CHRISTEENE WAS ENGROSSED IN WHEN SHE AGREED TO HIS PROPOSAL. WHATEVER THE CASE MAY BE, IT WAS ONLY LATE IN THE EVENING IN NEW YORK, A FEW HOURS BEFORE THE INTERVIEW WAS DUE TO START, THAT SHE REALISED SHE WOULD ONLY BE TALKING TO OWENS – WHO WAS IN ITALY – VIA VIDEO CALL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, AND WANTED TO CANCEL SPONTANEOUSLY. BUT AFTER EXCHANGING A FEW EMAILS, SHE CHANGED HER MIND, AND APPEARED PUNCTUALLY BEFORE THE CAMERA, LOLLING AROUND LASCIVIOUSLY IN HER UNDERWEAR AND AN OWENS DRESSING GOWN.

THE DRAG ARTIST AND THE FASHION DESIGNER HAVE BEEN BEST FRIENDS SINCE CHRISTEENE'S 'BUTT MUSCLE' VIDEO, IN WHICH THEY DO UNSPEAKABLE THINGS TO EACH OTHER. AS BEFITS A GOOD FRIEND, OWENS DID NOT HESITATE FOR A SECOND WHEN CHRISTEENE ASKED HIM TO DO THE INTERVIEW, WHILE CHRISTEENE IN TURN HELPED OWENS TO PREPARE BY SENDING HIM A LIST OF TOPICS TO DISCUSS. THE TOPICS INCLUDED 'INTUITION', 'PHYSICAL HEALING THOUGH THE POWER OF THE MIND', 'CHER', 'THE POWER OF KATHY BATES', 'SAXOPHONES AND JAZZ HARPS', 'HIGH SOCIETY SEX CULTS' AND 'ART AFTER THE END OF THE WORLD'. WE'RE NOT SURE IF THEY TALKED ABOUT ANY OF THOSE THINGS.

RICK OWENS HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?

CRISTEENE VALE HOW'S IT GOING? IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. THAT'S HOW IT'S GOING, BITCH!

RO WHAT TIME IS IT?

CV IT'S HALF PAST THREE IN THE MORNING HERE!

RO OH, I'M SORRY.

CV NO PROBLEM, I'M ALWAYS STILL AWAKE AT THIS TIME ANYHOW. BUT I'M USUALLY HIGH. NOT TODAY THOUGH. I DECIDED TO KEEP A CLEAR HEAD FOR YOU.

RO IT WILL PROBABLY DO YOU GOOD.

CV I DISCOVERED THAT YOU DREAM MORE IF YOU DON'T SMOKE WEED BEFORE YOU GO TO BED. WEED MAKES YOUR DREAMS DISAPPEAR.

RO I WOULDN'T KNOW. I NEVER SMOKED WEED. I ONLY CHAIN SMOKE BEFORE I GO TO BED. I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T. WEED WOULD PROBABLY BE HEALTHIER.

CV YOU CHAIN SMOKE CIGARETTES? AT NIGHT?

RO OH YEAH!

CV SHUT UP!

RO I CERTAINLY DO. I SMOKE AND EAT LOTS OF SUGAR AND CAKE...

CV DID YOU HAVE SACHERTORTE WHEN YOU WERE IN VIENNA?

RO YEAH, VIENNA WAS GREAT. ST. PETERSBURG WAS GREAT TOO, BUT TURIN WAS THE BEST. SCARLETTE (SCARLETTE ROUGE, THE DAUGHTER OF RICK OWENS' WIFE MICHÈLE LAMY) LIVES THERE, AND SHE HAD A BABY WHEN WE WERE THERE.

CV DID YOU KNOW SHE WAS GOING TO HAVE A BABY, OR DID YOU JUST HAPPEN TO BE THERE WHEN SHE SUDDENLY HAD A BABY?

RO NO, WE KNEW SHE WAS HAVING A BABY, BECAUSE IT TAKES NINE MONTHS FOR A BABY TO BE BORN.

CV I KNOW.

RO YOU SENT ME A LIST OF TOPICS FOR THE INTERVIEW, BUT THE ONLY ITEM ON THE LIST THAT I UNDERSTAND IS 'CHER'.

CV GREAT!

RO OKAY! I DON'T KNOW IF I'VE TOLD YOU, BUT THIS SPOKEN-WORD THING, THE TEXT FROM THAT MOVIE, WHAT'S IT CALLED, 'THE TURN OF THE SCREW'?

(THE FILM IS BASED ON 'THE TURN OF THE SCREW', A BOOK BY HENRY JAMES).

RO YEAH, EXACTLY, 'THE TURN OF THE SCREW', WHICH I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN.

CV WHAT?

RO I KNOW, I KNOW, BUT YOUR SPOKEN WORD PERFORMANCE AT BERGHAIN WAS ONE OF THE BEST THINGS I HAVE SEEN IN MY LIFE.

CV THANKS. I LIKE THE WORDS TOO, ESPECIALLY WHEN I PERFORM, BECAUSE THEN PEOPLE SHUT UP AND WONDER WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

RO AT FIRST I THOUGHT YOU WERE RECITING SHAKESPEARE.

CV THAT WAS DUE TO MY ELOQUENT DELIVERY. YOU GOTTA SEE THE MOVIE, GIRL! TRUMAN CAPOTE CO-WROTE THE SCRIPT.

RO THE FILM IS ON MY LIST.

CV I ALREADY TOLD YOU ABOUT THE FILM A YEAR AGO.

RO BUT MY LIST IS LONG.

CV BECAUSE YOU ONLY READ CLEVER BOOKS ALL THE TIME.

RO NOT REALLY. THE BOOKS ARE ACTUALLY FULL OF GOSSIP. DO YOU MAKE NOTES BEFORE YOU WORK ON YOUR ALBUM? HOW DO YOU DO IT?

CV I SING INTO MY PHONE TO RECORD MY IDEAS, BUT ONLY WHEN I HAVE IDEAS – I MEAN WHEN THEY SUDDENLY COME TO ME. ONCE I WOKE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT BECAUSE I DREAMT A HOOK. IN MY SLEEP, I SAID TO MYSELF: 'WAKE THE FUCK UP, FIND YOUR PHONE AND SING THE HOOK INTO IT.' AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I DID, WITHOUT OPENING MY EYES. I LISTENED TO IT THREE WEEKS LATER AND IT WAS GOOD.

RO WHAT DID YOU DO WITH IT?

CV I'M STILL WORKING ON THAT, GIRL. I HAVE A WHOLE SERIES OF THESE MOMENTS. THERE WILL BE A SONG CALLED 'HEARTS OF PALM', LIKE THE THINGS YOU EAT. ONE NIGHT I WAS EATING PALM HEARTS WITH A FRIEND IN AUSTIN AND HE SAID: 'IN THE SWAMP, HEARTS OF PALM GROW WILD!' I KNEW THAT LINE WOULD BE THE BEGINNING OF MY NEXT DAMN FUCKIN' HOT JAM. I'D LIKE GRACE JONES TO SPEAK THE LINE FOR ME, AND I'D LIKE HER TO DO IT REALLY SLOWLY. WHEN MY FRIEND SAID IT, I THOUGHT TO MYSELF:

'YOU IDIOT, THAT'S THE BEST OPENING LINE I'VE EVER HEARD.' AND THEN THE BEAT COMES IN, BA-BAM, BA-BAM, BA-BAM. ANOTHER PIECE IS CALLED 'BEAUCOUP MOROCCO'.

RO THE LINE WITH THE PALM HEARTS SOUNDS ALMOST BIBLICAL.

CV I HAD NO IDEA THAT PALM HEARTS GROW IN THE SWAMP, BUT MAYBE THEY DON'T. SOMEONE ONCE TOLD ME THAT THE TOP OF THE CHRYSLER BUILDING WAS MADE OF HUBCAPS, AND FOR FIVE SECONDS, I BELIEVED THEM. SO I WILL ALSO BELIEVE THAT THERE ARE PALM HEARTS IN THE SWAMP, TO PRESERVE MY CREATIVITY.

RO AND WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER TRACK, THE ONE WITH MOROCCO?

CV 'BEAUCOUP MOROCCO'? I DON'T KNOW, IT MAKES NO SENSE – BUT IT'S HOT, IT'S FRENCH, AND IT'S MOROCCAN. YOU COULD USE IT FOR THE RUNWAY.

RO I'VE ASKED YOU SO MANY TIMES FOR RUNWAY MUSIC, BUT YOU ALWAYS AVOID ME.

CV NO I DON'T.

RO YES YOU DO. YOU RUN SCREAMING FROM THE ROOM EVERY TIME.

CV BECAUSE MY SONGS AREN'T TRANCEY ENOUGH. AND TOO SHORT.

RO IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE HOW LONG THEY ARE. IF IT'S ONLY FOUR MINUTES LONG, IT CAN SIMPLY BE EXTENDED. WHAT WAS THE SONG THAT GOES 'POSE, SOMETHING, SOMETHING, POSE'?

CV THAT'S 'T.S.S.P.' AND THE LYRICS ARE 'TURN, STARE, SHAKE, POSE'. I CAN SEND IT TO YOU.

RO NO, IT'S TOO LATE NOW BECAUSE YOU SPENT TOO LONG PLAYING COY. THE MUSIC I HAVE NOW IS FROM MIKEQ, BUT IT SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE YOURS. BASICALLY, WE STOLE YOUR SOUND.

CV YOU BASTARD!

RO IT SERVES YOU RIGHT FOR AVOIDING ME.

CV YOU JUST LEAVE ME LYING IN THE GUTTER WHERE YOU FOUND ME.

RO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO FOR THE REST OF THE DAY?

CV WELL, WHEN OUR CONVERSATION IS OVER, I'M GONNA GET SOME SLEEP, AND THEN... OH, I GOTTA SHOW YOU THIS. I BOUGHT A BACKPACK FOR MY CAT TICKLES PICKLES SO I CAN TAKE HIM OUT TO CENTRAL PARK. I HAVE TO SHOW IT TO YOU. LOOK! CAN YOU SEE IT?

RO YES.

CV THIS GLASS THING (POINTS TO WHAT LOOKS LIKE AN ASTRONAUT'S HELMET) IS A WINDOW FOR HIM TO LOOK THROUGH.

RO THAT'S THE WEIRDEST THING EVER! COULD YOU PLEASE PUT THE BACKPACK ON FOR ME?

CV ONLY WITHOUT THE CAT, BECAUSE HE STILL HASN'T GOTTEN USED TO IT. ISN'T THE BACKPACK AMAZING? I WILL GET DOLLED UP TOMORROW, PUT TICKLES PICKLES IN MY BACKPACK, GO TO CENTRAL PARK AND THEN TAKE HIM ON A WALK WITH A LEASH.

RO THE THING LOOKS EXACTLY AS IF DIOR WOULD COPY IT.

CV THEN YOU WILL HAVE TO DO IT FIRST.

RO IT'S PROBABLY ALREADY PART OF YOUR NEXT SHOW. WHERE DID YOU FIND IT?

CV SOMEONE GAVE ME A BACKPACK FOR TICKLES PICKLES FOR CHRISTMAS, BUT IT WAS MUCH TOO SMALL FOR THE POOR CAT. SO I WENT TO MY COMPUTER AND DID A SEARCH FOR 'FAT CAT BACKPACK', AND THAT WAS THE RESULT.

RO AND YOU'RE GONNA LET TICKLES OUT IN CENTRAL PARK ON A LEASH?

CV YEAH!

RO WHAT A SPECTACLE!

CV I KNOW. DO YOU WANT ME TO FILM IT?

RO I THINK WE ALL WANT YOU TO DO THAT. TOMORROW, WHILE I AM WORKING AWAY TEDIOUSLY HERE IN ITALY, I WILL THINK OF YOU AND TICKLES IN CENTRAL PARK. IT WILL LIFT MY SPIRITS IN NO TIME; IT WILL GIVE ME HOPE.

CV I MUST COME AND VISIT YOU IN ITALY SOMETIME.

RO MY MOTHER WAS JUST HERE. IT WAS THE FIRST TIME.

CV WHY DID IT TAKE SO LONG?

RO I'M NOT GOOD AT SHARING.

CV YOU LIKE SHARING WITH ME.

RO YEAH, YOU CAN HAVE ANYTHING OF MINE.

CV DID YOUR MOTHER LIKE IT IN ITALY?

RO YES. WAITING FOR THE BABY WITH THE WHOLE FAMILY WAS KIND OF CUTE. AND HOLDING A BABY IN MY ARMS FOR SUCH A LONG TIME WAS GREAT TOO.

CV DID MICHÈLE LIKE THE BABY?

RO YEAH, SHE LOVES BABIES, AND BABIES LOVE HER. BECAUSE HER TEETH ARE SO SHINY. WHAT DID YOU DO AT CHRISTMAS?

CV I ATE GUMBO.

RO WERE YOU WITH YOUR FAMILY?

CV I WAS IN LOUISIANA, WHERE THEY FEED ME GUMBO EVERY YEAR.

RO I NEVER ASKED YOU ABOUT YOUR FAMILY.

CV I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT THEM. I REMEMBER DIRT AND WOODS. AND I KEEP ENDING UP DOWN IN LOUISIANA, WHICH IS WHERE I THINK MY FAMILY PROBABLY CAME FROM. I ALSO TALK LIKE I COME FROM DOWN THERE, CAJUN FRENCH.

RO WERE YOU RAISED THERE?

CV I DON'T KNOW.

RO YOU DON'T KNOW?

CV I DON'T REMEMBER MY CHILDHOOD, BUT IT FEELS LIKE I SPENT IT THERE. ALSO BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE THERE GIVE ME FOOD IN WINTER. THEY GIVE ME GUMBO AND ÉTOUFÉE. DO YOU KNOW WHAT ÉTOUFÉE IS?

RO NO, WHAT IS IT?

CV CRAWFISH STEW. I'LL COOK IT FOR YOU NEXT TIME I'M IN PARIS.

RO YOU ARE WELCOME TO DO THAT, BUT I DOUBT I WILL EAT IT.

CV BUT YOU USUALLY EAT FISH.

RO YEAH, BUT IT SOUNDS KIND OF WEIRD.

CV IT'S A STEW WITH CRAWFISH AND TOMATOES.

RO I DON'T LIKE TOMATOES. BAKE ME A CAKE INSTEAD. DID YOU KNOW THAT PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE DIABOLICAL?

CV MY FACE DOESN'T LOOK VERY FRIENDLY, BUT I HAVE A HEART OF GOLD.

RO I LIKE IT WHEN YOU ARE CRUEL TO PEOPLE. YOU SHOULD BE MORE AGGRESSIVE.

CV I ALREADY AM, GIRL! I WAS JUST IN L.A. OH MY GOD, THE THINGS I DID TO PEOPLE! I TOOK A DRINK OUT OF A WOMAN'S HAND, TOOK A SIP, SPAT IT IN THE FACE OF THE PERSON NEXT TO HER AND THEN POURED THE REST ONTO HER HEAD. SHE LOVED IT. AND I LIKE HITTING PEOPLE IN THE FACE WITH A NICE STRONG SLAP. I YELL AT THEM UP CLOSE, SLAP THEM AND THEN JUST KEEP WALKING. PEOPLE LIKE THAT.

RO IN A TEXT I ONCE DESCRIBED YOU AS OUR COLLECTIVE ID. THAT'S WHAT IS SO APPEALING ABOUT YOUR ART – THAT YOU'RE SO UNINHIBITED. IT'S WHAT YOUR FANS PROJECT ON YOU, BECAUSE THEY WOULD LIKE TO BE AS UNINHIBITED AS YOU ARE.

CV BUT I ONLY ATTACK PEOPLE WHO I HAVE A CONNECTION WITH. SOMETHING HAS TO ATTRACT ME TO THEM. ACTUALLY, THE ONLY TIME I GO FOR PEOPLE IS WHEN THEY TAKE OUT THEIR PHONE. I TAKE THE PHONE AND STICK IT UP MY ASS.

RO WHY?

CV PARTLY BECAUSE THEN THEY GET A VIDEO ON THEIR PHONE WHERE CAN THEY SEE IT GOING UP MY ASS – I LIKE THAT IDEA. AND ALSO BECAUSE A LITTLE BIT OF ME STICKS TO THEIR PHONE. IF THEY WANT SO MUCH OF ME THAT THEY HAVE TO FILM ME, THEN THEY CAN HAVE EVERYTHING.

RO AND DO YOU REALLY MANAGE TO SHOVE A PHONE UP YOUR ASS?

CV NOT COMPLETELY, BUT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. A CORNER, MAYBE. THE IPHONE 11 IS SO BIG! MY JOB IS GETTING HARDER AND HARDER!

RO YOU NEED MORE PRACTICE.

CV I GET THAT EVERY TIME I HAVE A SHOW, BUT I'M CERTAINLY NOT GONNA PRACTICE AT HOME WITH MY OWN PHONE. I DO THAT ON STAGE. AND I HAVE NEVER DROPPED A PHONE IN THE PROCESS, EVER. THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE ARE AFRAID OF. THEY TREAT THEIR PHONES AS IF THEY WERE THEIR CHILDREN. IT'S LIKE RIPPING A BABY FROM THEIR ARMS – PEOPLE GO CRAZY! THEY GET REALLY AFRAID. PANIC IS WRITTEN ALL OVER THEIR FACES. THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ABOUT IT – THAT THEY'RE NOT FREAKING OUT OVER A BABY, BUT OVER A DAMN MACHINE.

RO BUT IT'S NOT JUST A MACHINE. PHONES REPRESENT SO MANY THINGS IN PEOPLE'S LIVES. ALL THE THINGS THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO THEM, AND CONTACT TO THEIR ENVIRONMENT. I ALSO SOMETIMES ROLL MY EYES WHEN I SEE HOW DEPENDENT PEOPLE ARE ON THEIR PHONE. ON THE OTHER HAND, TODAY A PHONE IS ALMOST LIKE A TOTEM, AN AMULET, OR A MAGIC WAND THAT ALLOWS US TO CONNECT. I UNDERSTAND THE ADDICTION. IN MY OPINION, CRITICISING THAT IS TOO EASY A GOAL. I'M NO DIFFERENT MYSELF. AND WOULD IT REALLY HELP THE WORLD IF PEOPLE WEREN'T CONSTANTLY ON THE PHONE?

WOULD WE BE MORE IN TUNE WITH REAL LIFE? WHAT EXACTLY DOES THAT MEAN?

CV WELL, PHONES ARE REAL LIFE TODAY, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT PEOPLE SHOULD FORGET THEIR MANNERS. WHEN SOMEONE COMES UP TO ME ON THE PHONE AND ASKS 'CAN I TAKE A PICTURE? CAN I TAKE A PICTURE?' THEN FIRST I ASK 'AND WHAT'S YOUR NAME? WHAT'S YOUR MAMA'S NAME? WHERE ARE YOU FROM? HOW MANY SIBLINGS DO YOU HAVE?' I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING BEFORE THEY TAKE A PICTURE.

RO THAT WOULD BE TOO MUCH CONTACT FOR ME, ESPECIALLY SINCE PEOPLE DON'T RESPECT PERSONAL SPACE THESE DAYS. THEY PUT THEIR ARM AROUND YOU, TELL YOU HOW TO STAND, AND THAT YOU SHOULD SMILE MORE...

CV AND THE WORST THING IS THAT WHEN IT COMES TO PHOTOGRAPHY, THEY NEVER KNOW HOW TO TAKE PICTURES. THEY KNOW HOW TO FIND THEIR WAY TO THE NEXT STORE WITH THEIR PHONE, HOW TO NAVIGATE IN THE CAR WITH IT, AND HOW TO FIND SEX PARTNERS – BUT WHEN THEY WANT TO TAKE A PICTURE, THEY'RE SCREWED. THAT'S WHY I ALWAYS GRAB THEIR PHONES OUT OF THEIR HANDS AND SAY, 'LET ME DO IT, FUCKFACE!'

RO WHEN WILL YOU BE IN PARIS AGAIN?

CV NO IDEA. FIRST I'M GONNA TOUR THE US DURING THE DAMNED UPCOMING ELECTION CAMPAIGN. AND I WANT TO PERFORM IN ALL THE SMALL COUNTRY TOWNS. I WILL GET THE MONEY FOR IT LIKE ROBIN HOOD IN THE BIG CITIES AND THEN PLAY THE COUNTRY TOWNS FOR FREE FOR ALL THE LITTLE QUEENS AND QUEER KIDS, AND I WILL ARRANGE MY PERFORMANCES IN ACCORDANCE WITH MOON PHASES AND PAGAN HOLIDAYS. THE TOUR STARTS IN MAY. I WILL LEAVE MY CAVE AT ALL TIMES OF YEAR AND VISIT ALL THE SHITTY CITIES BEFORE DISAPPEARING INTO MY CAVE AGAIN.

RO COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOUR AND GO TO PORTERVILLE TOO?

CV IS THAT WHERE YOU COME FROM?

RO I WAS RAISED THERE.

CV THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. I ASK ALL MY MOST IMPORTANT LOVERS, MY FAMILY AND MY FAVOURITE PEOPLE WHERE THEY COME FROM. THAT WILL BE THE BASIS OF MY TOUR.